Parents

DreamBank helps fund dreams that matter.

Like BorrowMe, DreamBank is a story about having more by buying less.  DreamBank.org helps any of us – from a charity to a student or family like ours to describe a dream, and ask family, friends and strangers to support it financially.  It is an alternative gifting platform – helping to take us away from disposable trinkets, to the kinds of stuff that matters more.

Temporary treasures.

For some time now my wife and I have been looking for a good way to do something about the flood of ‘temporary treasures’ that well-meaning family and friends send to us, and the kids as gifts at Christmas, birthdays and other holidays. We are very appreciative of the thought, and the kids love opening fancy boxes – but surely there must be a better way.  The difficulty of course is that gifts very often seem to separate and move rapidly in many small pieces to a surprising number of different places in our home, cars, and in the yard.  The excitement changes to some frustration, much clutter and quite a bit of work to clean, organize, store, repair (often fruitlessly) and frequently dispose of these items.  Many I find tucked in boxes with missing pieces, or immediately abandoned.  I feel a bit sad to see it all pile up, and so little time spent enjoying it all.

The more toys they have – the less they are valued.

For a few years now our family has been trying to change our consumption practices – buy less, and borrow, fix and reuse more.  We think it is the right thing to do for the planet, the kids and the community.  In fact, we’ve notices that when the kids have less – there is a change in their attitudes towards their stuff.  When there is less – they no longer step on their possessions.  This is a primary measurement in our house of how much we value our things.  There is a zero tolerance policy for clothes and books.  They are never ever on the floor – and we certainly do not every step on one.  But – the toys are often another story.  With few exceptions – the more there are, the less they are each valued.

Making a decision to buy

If we are considering buying a new item for our home, or a toy for the children – we have developed a simple process, by asking several questions.  When we see something interesting in a store or magazine we talk about it, and ask the following questions:

• How will we use it?
• How will we store it?
• Will it make our lives better?
• Is it something we principally already have?
• Can we borrow it?
• Is there an alternative that is better?
• Do we really want or need it?
• Would we want to use this money for anything else instead?

We are careful not to promote a scarcity mentality with phrases like. “we can’t afford that”.  We emphasize choices (based on a recognition of the notion of finite resources), and age appropriate consequences of buying decisions.  Often, the conversation with the children is very interesting, and the children change their minds on their own when they think about it more carefully.

We also have a few rules for buying something new.

• We never buy something we see for the first time (no impulse shopping for us, or the kids);
• If an item is truly worthy – it must be mentioned several times over the next few weeks – NOT prompted by advertising of any kind.
• When we buy an toy or item for our home – it is often a specific trip for just that item.

Traditional gifting at odds with our values.

It is always nice to both give and receive a gift.  The obvious problem is the traditional gifting practices are at odds with many of the things we value, and we struggle with how to reconcile those without hurting people’s feelings, or taking about from their joy of giving.

Dreambank: Another way to give dreams, not Stuff.

We don’t have the answer yet – but one thing we are trying is the DreamBank.  We have created a big family dream of going to Disney World in 2010, and have asked our family and friends to support our dream.  Our hope is that this platform will be a way to give something truly meaningful to our family, without all the waste, clutter and hidden costs of the ‘traditional’ approach to giving gifts.  I am not sure if we’ll be successful, and how our request will be received by family – but I think it is worth a try.

Does this make sense to you?  TAKE ACTION before you leave, and make a small change in how you deal with your stuff.

Create a dream of your own on DreamBank.

Create a wish for a special toy on BorrowMe.

Lend one of your toys to a friend or neighbor.

– Sean

http://www.borrowme.com/sean
Contact me directly.

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